I am broken
I have been broken so many times that I have lost count.
People will never understand that pain I have let others put me through and these same people wonder why I worry.
I worry because I expect things to fall apart, I’m not even sure if I have ever been really loved. I do know that I have been used and abused and tossed to the side with no remorse or care about my feelings.
It’s so hard to let others get in close because of the choices of the others, but when I let you in I fall in love hard and fast and maybe that is my own problem and not yours.
I have been told by some that they love me. I have been told by some that they will never hurt me and they will be mine forever, only to some of these people destroy me.
It is not always the people I am relationships with. I realize I have my flaws and I’m not for everyone.
Some days I just want to take my heart out of my chest and throw it as far away from me as I can, anything to stop the pain that goes on in it and to stop the constant doubting that goes on in my head.
Maybe I’m better off alone, so I don’t hurt others? Maybe I need to save the world from me. Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy or maybe I just bring people down and hurt them.
Thank you for reading.