The beginning of the end?

 

 

chaosstar

 

Hello Blogger fans,

 

It’s been awhile and it hasn’t been all that great.   My life is all screwed up at this time and there’s not really much I can do to fix it.

My crazy psycho ex has gone off the deep end and has some how managed to get Wayne County to grant her a PPO on me.   She’s going around telling her new man and anyone that will listen that I raped her and the next night I put her in the hospital.   Well in 4 days I get my time to defend myself and hopefully get this thing done and over with.  I’m just scared because I know the person she is and I know she will pull out any stop to make herself look better.

I also have found someone I am greatly in love with and I’m very excited to have her in my life.  She has done more for me than anyone and I mean anyone has done in a long time.   She’s the sweetest female I have ever met and I love her deeply, I’m just curious that we are on different pages right now.  My life is so twisted and she still stands by my side and encourages me and I’m not sure if I could make it without her by my side.

She’s standing with a man that is not only homeless man but a man without a car.   This woman needs to be Sainted if you believe in that stuff.  She has helped me out more than she will ever know and has kept me on a good path more than she will ever know.  She has been not only my rock but has lifted me up higher than anyone has ever that isn’t family.

I’m worried that eventually she’s going to grow tired of it all and just wash her hands and honestly I wouldn’t blame her.   I am very thankful for her and my friend Rob, He’s has given me a place to stay and has been a ear to bend about things.  I truly am blessed to have both of them in my life and they will never know how great they have been to me the last few weeks.

My no car situation is about to be over.  Looks like I am getting a 99 Dodge Intrepid.  My brother is selling me my ex wife’s old car.  Yes I know ironic ain’t it?   My other brother did some work on the car and got it functioning and I thank them both as well as my family for all they have done.  I’m ready to get some wheels and hopefully find a place.  Then I’m going to find a new job.

I wish I could say my life is looking up but it’s not.  I’m full of fear and doubt and I don’t know how to handle it.  Maybe time, maybe not.  Maybe I need to grab myself by the collar and shake some sense into myself.  While I am in love, I have some fears and doubts and maybe I’ll share those with the cyberverse in the future, or maybe I’ll start putting up my walls again and keep those fears to myself.

Well blogger fans, that is all I got for you tonight.   Maybe I’ll blog again tomorrow or maybe I won’t.  Who knows.