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I am broken

I have been broken so many times that I have lost count.

People will never understand that pain I have let others put me through and these same people wonder why I worry.

I worry because I expect things to fall apart, I’m not even sure if I have ever been really loved. I do know that I have been used and abused and tossed to the side with no remorse or care about my feelings.

It’s so hard to let others get in close because of the choices of the others, but when I let you in I fall in love hard and fast and maybe that is my own problem and not yours.

I have been told by some that they love me. I have been told by some that they will never hurt me and they will be mine forever, only to some of these people destroy me.

It is not always the people I am relationships with. I realize I have my flaws and I’m not for everyone.

Some days I just want to take my heart out of my chest and throw it as far away from me as I can, anything to stop the pain that goes on in it and to stop the constant doubting that goes on in my head.

Maybe I’m better off alone, so I don’t hurt others? Maybe I need to save the world from me. Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy or maybe I just bring people down and hurt them.

Thank you for reading.





Hello Blogger fans,


It's been awhile and it hasn't been all that great.   My life is all screwed up at this time and there's not really much I can do to fix it.

My crazy psycho ex has gone off the deep end and has some how managed to get Wayne County to grant her a PPO on me.   She's going around telling her new man and anyone that will listen that I raped her and the next night I put her in the hospital.   Well in 4 days I get my time to defend myself and hopefully get this thing done and over with.  I'm just scared because I know the person she is and I know she will pull out any stop to make herself look better.

I also have found someone I am greatly in love with and I'm very excited to have her in my life.  She has done more for me than anyone and I mean anyone has done in a long time.   She's the sweetest female I have ever met and I love her deeply, I'm just curious that we are on different pages right now.  My life is so twisted and she still stands by my side and encourages me and I'm not sure if I could make it without her by my side.

She's standing with a man that is not only homeless man but a man without a car.   This woman needs to be Sainted if you believe in that stuff.  She has helped me out more than she will ever know and has kept me on a good path more than she will ever know.  She has been not only my rock but has lifted me up higher than anyone has ever that isn't family.

I'm worried that eventually she's going to grow tired of it all and just wash her hands and honestly I wouldn't blame her.   I am very thankful for her and my friend Rob, He's has given me a place to stay and has been a ear to bend about things.  I truly am blessed to have both of them in my life and they will never know how great they have been to me the last few weeks.

My no car situation is about to be over.  Looks like I am getting a 99 Dodge Intrepid.  My brother is selling me my ex wife's old car.  Yes I know ironic ain't it?   My other brother did some work on the car and got it functioning and I thank them both as well as my family for all they have done.  I'm ready to get some wheels and hopefully find a place.  Then I'm going to find a new job.

I wish I could say my life is looking up but it's not.  I'm full of fear and doubt and I don't know how to handle it.  Maybe time, maybe not.  Maybe I need to grab myself by the collar and shake some sense into myself.  While I am in love, I have some fears and doubts and maybe I'll share those with the cyberverse in the future, or maybe I'll start putting up my walls again and keep those fears to myself.

Well blogger fans, that is all I got for you tonight.   Maybe I'll blog again tomorrow or maybe I won't.  Who knows.





Welcome to my first installment of On My Soapbox.

redskinsMy first topic will be about the United States Government's removal of the Copyright rights of the Washington Redskins.

Doesn't the government have more pressing problems than to run around and take away the copyright of the NFL's Washington Franchise copyrights?  If the logo was of that of potatoes would there be the uproar over this?  I don't think so.

Some people claim the name is offensive, but many in the Native American  community aren't upset by the name.  The Redskins have had this name since 1933 before they moved to Washington in 1937.    The team name has come under scrutiny of the last few years.

Now I hear that other city newspaper's have joined in on this bandwagon, even my very own Detroit News paper has taken the stance that they will not use the "Redskins" name but will instead refer to the team as Washington's Football Team.   Are you fucking kidding me?  What has the world come to?  The Redskins name is only offensive if we as a society allows it to be.  It's a word, nothing more.

I'll assume that other sports teams will be in line to have their names changed due to being "racist".  The Cleveland Indians, The Atlanta Braves, the Kansas City Chiefs,  Florida State Seminoles, Chicago Blackhawks,   I mean we can even lump  Dallas Cowboys, Houston Texans, into this mix.

Political Correctness is ruining our society.  We've become a society that is butt hurt over a name of a sports team.   In the grand scheme of things, is it really hurting anything?  Only if you let it.

MV5BMjM2MTY1ODc5MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMTg3ODc0MDE@._V1_SY317_CR28,0,214,317_AL_Literally 10 minutes into this movie, I wanted to turn it off, but I was with others, so I couldn't just up and turn it off, so I had to suffer though this.  there were times while watching that I wanted to poke my eyes out with a stick.


Starring:  Trae IrelandErin CokerJody Barton

Written and Directed by James Cullen Bressack


For millennia, calendars have added an extra day every four years. In doing so, they violated the ancient Mayan calendar. Now we are in the 13th month of the 13th year of the new millennium, and the few who survive will battle a world of demons.

As great as the plot summary sounds, it's total Bull.  There are no demons,  Every person that wasn't born on February 29th goes insane.  The reason they go insane, is because adding a day every 4 years throws off the Mayan Calendar.  I guess I can wrap my head around that, if I try really hard.   The problem is everyone goes insane but at different levels, so go in and out of insanity and this is never explained.

The movie gets 1 star out of 4 from me.  The story line was to far fetched, the acting was horrid.  It just wasn't that good.

paybackGrowing up I was a huge wrestling fan.  I was a bigger NWA (WCW) guy than I was a WWE fan.   I haven't really followed wrestling that much lately, but I do stop when I'm flipping through the channels from time to time.  I was able to view the WWE pay per view, Payback last night and I figured I'd give those that view this my feedback on the PPV.


Match #1

United States Championship Match

Sheamus (c) vs. Cesaro

Paul Heyman took his parting shot at CM Punk to start the match, informing the crowd that Punk was in attendance at the hockey game down the street before introducing Cesaro.

Sheamus looked bad in the match and Cesaro showed why he should be thrust into a bigger role in the company.

Cesaro pretty much controlled the match and even showed his strength when Sheamus blew his superplex spot.

I would have liked to see Cesaro take the Championship, but I understand that the WWE probably has a bigger role in his future.

I gave the match a Solid C


Match #2

Ryback and Curtis Axel vs. Cody Rhodes and Goldust

The match was clunky and seemed off for some reason to me.  I would have rather seen this spot filled with a Uso vs. Wyatt Family match.    Ryback and Curtis Axel won and Cody Rhodes told his brother that he deserved a better partner.   Kind of a yawner in my opinion.

I give it a F.


Match #3

Rusev vs. Big E

Typical WWE match.  Let's put two behemoths in the ring and see what they can do.  The match was slow and tedious but Big E did hit a nice spot, spearing Rusev off the apron.

Like I said I don't follow wrestling that closely so I don't know the background on Rusev, but he won

I give the match a C+


Match # 4

Bo Dallas vs. Kofi Kingston

Bray Wyatt's little brother has got the mic skills but I would have loved to seen what this guy has as far a in ring ability.   Kane came out right after the introductions and Bo high tailed it out of the ring, Kofi decided to stay in and fight him.  Bad choice, Kane manhandled the high flyer and ended his night with a tombstone.

After the carnage, Bo entered the ring and told Kofi he would be alright all he had to do is Bolieve.

I give the spot a B

(yes a non match was better than first 3 matches on the card)


Match #5

Intercontinental Championship Match

Bad News Barrett(c) vs. Rob Van Dam

Again, Haven't been following this story line.  Last I saw RVD was in a match with Cesaro and Jack Swagger, so not sure what the story line between Barrett and RVD is.   The match had it's typical RVD spots and Barrett performed decently, but the match was SLOW at times.  RVD went for his Five Star Frog Splash and missed.   Barrett went smashed his elbow on the ring post when he went for the Bull Hammer, but was able to connect with it later to retain the Intercontinental Championship.

I give the match a C+


Next Spot was the anticipated Stephanie McMahon/Daniel Byran confrontation.

Not sure what Daniel Bryan injury is or how he got it.  But it was nice to see the WWE Champion on the PPV.  Stephanie's  shot at CM Punk was quite humorous.  Telling Daniel, They want you to quit just like CM Punk did.  Did anyone really think Bryan was going to surrender the title?   I saw the Bree quitting coming from a mile away.  The slap was unexpected and I thought Stephanie sold it well.

I give the spot a B-


Match #6

Last Man Standing match

Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena

This is the match that stole the show,  Bray Wyatt's mic skills are pretty awesome and his in ring ability is great.  For someone portraying himself as the necessary evil, the guy got a good pop from the crowd.  Cena to me is over pushed but some fans still like him.   Even with the distractions of the Uso's and Wyatt Family, it didn't take from the match.  Wyatt dancing with an incapacitated Cena was epic, even better was Wyatt standing on the steps in the ring and leading the crowd like a conductor in the singing of he's got the whole world in his hand.

The Luke Harper superplex through a table on the outside ring was just a sick bump, Cena tossing the steps from the ring into Wyatt's face was another high spot.  I hope this match helps to put the Wyatt Family in a match with the Uso's.

Cena won the match after Attitude Adjusting Wyatt through a crate and then pushing a storage type locker on top of the crate to keep Wyatt down for the 10 count

I give the match an  A+

Match #7

Diva Championship match

Paige(c) vs. Alicia Fox

Ah the filler match.   It was just what it was..Filler.   In my opinion Paige is to green and Alicia Fox just doesn't have the skill set to be champion.  Sad they took the belt off AJ.

I give the match a E

Main Event match

Evolution vs. Shield
(No holds Barred, Elimination match)

I thought the match was very well played.  The only thing I would have done differently was the match felt rushed at the end.  Shield not losing a member was unexpected.  I'm sure Triple H will be looking redemption on Raw.  Lots of action and it cemented the Shield as  a solid group.

I give match a A

Payback started off like a dud, but picked up as it went on and finished pretty strongly.






I finally got the time to sit down and watch The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

Now I'm a big fan of super hero movies. I thought Avengers was a great movie, the Iron Man Trilogy was pretty decent and I enjoyed the 3 latest Batman movies. I have always been a big Spidey guy, growing up he was one of my favorites.

While I won't say The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was horrible, it was just OK to me.